Pain is a HEADACHE

As much the morning waking hours steal into my eyes

  is twice the measure of how I come to feel alive

Awake now and aware of that sweet beat, the pulse, the quick

  and a giggle rises giddy with the knowing of the trick

It is a ploy I play, this plot to stay alive

  to breathe again this air pulled

   in rapt excitement watching this chest rise

    even with (because of) the pain




The pain niggles its way into every breath

It is the worm that eats at the precious core

It is the loss of sight for the surefooted

It is the loudest boom that leaves your ears ringing for days

  from a speaker you didn't care to hear  

It is the realization of where your life might've been new

  had you been as experienced then if you wished it were true

This pain is the tears shed while trying to think straight

Lines of time don't proceed before those made to wait

  when pain exists as a detour to put your days on hold

The ache of loves lost in lives gone by

The sting of knowing you're not the same child gone wild

The hurt of memories you are sure you once cherished

  remnants just ashes in an instant that perished




Oh they perish, those memories that are not forever

It is a liar that tells you they may endure

Memories do not bear up under the weight of time

  (they are too, too fragile to be relied upon)




But awake now fully and watching the mist receding

I am not unaware of the loveliness I am seeing

It is these moments as beautiful as they are

  that needs no lines to form a time from where I once held them

    precious

I don't need to know the when, the where

Written here, I know it was

Like a tear on a paper –

Like this tear on this paper

  I know I hold these things above the way they are lost to me

I must hold each moment above the way it will be lost

  no matter the cost


                                                                         FRS